i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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