How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize