Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize