Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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