Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
