New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
