I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize