Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
