you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
