you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
These tits shall not be calmed
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
