im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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