dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
