Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
