you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
