Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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