Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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