Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also, beer. Big fan.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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