the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
