There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
