the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
