Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Best friends brother. Beat that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
