Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
