glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize