Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
