I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
