so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
