Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry cw98765 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(561): View more from Florida

My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

Fav 43 971 6548
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger

Fav 22 1678 5386
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

Fav 7 1099 3240
share tweet
(810): View more from Michigan

There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

Fav 2 3198 1065
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me

Fav 13 5686 1558
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.

Fav 5 2653 989
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.

Fav 2 1166 1315
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(865): View more from Tennessee

I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?

Fav 0 42 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(520): View more from Arizona

drunkkkkk be here I heart you

Fav 0 33 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT