what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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