How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize