My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
