i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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