Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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