I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
