i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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