and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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