There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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