i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
