is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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