Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
