I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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