if you like me you must not know who I am
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
