At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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