so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My balls are so social today.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
