We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize