Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
