You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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