All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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