I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize