ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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