I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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