I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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