i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I forget how to act sober
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
