I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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