i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
