That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
