It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
