Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
