Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
