waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
