dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
