Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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