I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Randomize
