Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
