I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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