yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
