is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
