I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
