I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
