weddingsv make me drug and hornr
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize