big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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