u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
