Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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