My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
