yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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