we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
