I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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