i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
