I puked a lego.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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