I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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