Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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